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Ex-Mormon News, Stories And Recovery
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Don't know how many of you saw Julie Beck's GC talk yesterday. Here's how it is described in today's Trib:
Perhaps the most controversial speaker on Sunday, though, was Julie Beck, the new president of the church's all-women Relief Society, who talked about the powerful influence of motherhood.
Faithful Mormon women want children and do not delay child-bearing, Beck said, quoting the late LDS President Ezra Taft Benson as saying, "children - not possessions, not position, not prestige - are our greatest jewels."
Mormon mothers honor their sacred covenants by bringing daughters to church "in clean and ironed dresses with hair brushed to perfection; their sons wear white shirts and ties and have missionary haircuts," Beck said.
They establish a good climate where children can be nourished physically and spiritually. "Another word for nurturing is homemaking," Beck said. It ''includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly house.''
In partnership with their husbands, mothers "plan for missions, temple marriages and education," she said. These women "are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most."
The speech triggered a firestorm of criticism on the Mormon blog timesandseasons.org from listeners who objected to Beck's stereotyping of women's roles or guilt-inducing comments about the necessity of being the best mothers in the world.
Sis. Beck is a real throwback to the 50's.
Some other tidbit's from Julie Beck's talk (all bold mine for emphasis, and my comments are in CAPS):
1. Quotes ETB that "young couples should not postpone having children, and that in the eternal perspective, children -- not possessions, not position, not prestige -- are our greatest jewels." IOW, MAKE BABIES WITHOUT DISREGARD FOR ANYTHING ELSE.
2. Praises mothers who "honor sacred ordinances and covenants." As an example, Beck recounts, "I have visited sacrament meetings in some of the poorest places on earth, where mothers have dressed with great care in their Sunday best, despite walking for miles on dusty roads and using worn out public transportation. They bring daughters in clean and ironed dresses. Their sons wear white shirts and ties and have missionary haircuts." IOW, BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT OUTWARD APPEARANCE THAN INWARD FAITH.
3. "Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence. Therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world." IWO, STAY AT HOME AND ONLY WORK THERE. OH, AND DON'T FORGET TO WEAR PEARLS AND HIGH HEELS WHILE MAKING DINNER.
4. "Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make up homes that create a climate for spiritual growth." IOW, EDUCATION IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT FOR WOMEN.
5. "Growth happens best in a house of order, and women should pattern their homes after the Lord's house." IOW, YOUR HOUSE SHOULD BE AS CLEAN AND UNCLUTTERED AS THE STALE TEMPLE.
6. "These wise mothers who know are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most." IOW, DON'T DO ANYTHING IN THE COMMUNITY -- LIMIT YOUR ENERGIES TO CHURCH CALLINGS AND HOMEMAKING CLASS.
7. "Mothers who know do less. They persmit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home." IOW, REINFORCEMENT THAT LDS WOMEN SHOULD COCOON THEMSELVES AND THEIR KIDS IN THE HOME AND AWAY FROM THE EVIL WORLD OUTSIDE.
Saturday, Oct 13, 2007, at 07:44 AM My First Thought After Reading About Julie Beck's Talk Was Original Author(s): No longer Nolongerin JULIE B. BECK -Guid-
I sent the newspaper article relating the talk to nearly everyone I know, including my TBM husband, whom I dearly love, and who loves me.
I seriously wonder if the same talk will really be posted on LDS.org, or, will it be already whitewashed and edited as a result of all the backlash on LDS blogs?
Either way, this is what it did for me:
I am no longer posting under an assumed name, which was "Nolongerin". Let me introduce myself. I went to BYU as a nonmember, having been introduced to the church by some very NORMAL people who also happened to be Mormon. (I still love them, and they still love me.) I was baptized; I graduated from BYU. I co-authored a series of children's books (Articles of Faith Learning Book 1, Book 2, and Book 3) that were published by Deseret Book and reprinted several times. After living as a "dreaded single adult" (thank you, Deenie, for that term!) I finally married in the temple at age 30. I love my TBM husband, my TBM older daughters, and all of the children we have had together. When I stopped attending church, I did not have a WOW problem, I had not been offended, I was still paying tithing, and I hadn't had an affair. I was simply tired of being a hamster running in a meaningless wheel, day and night. Several years ago, I started researching the LDS church in an attempt to salvage and bolster whatever thread of faith might have been left. I ended up convinced of a great fraud.
There will be no suited Taliban for me, convincing me through some female puppet that "nurturing" means the same as "housekeeping." I refuse to wear the burqa.
My name is Jackie Owen. I am 49 years old, and the truth has set me free.
Saturday, Oct 13, 2007, at 07:45 AM One Sentence From Julie Beck Tells It All - This Is The Place! Original Author(s): tol JULIE B. BECK -Guid-
"Mothers who know desire to bear children, whereas in many cultures of the world children are becoming less valued. In the culture of the gospel, we still believe in having children." Julie Beck, Conference 2007
This is the place for arrogant stereotyping of "many cultures" (who are these cultures that she thinks she knows so much about and is in a postion to judge their worthiness) and creating the uniformed opinion in Mormons of being better, chosen, and "righter."
This is the place for confinement. Women are confined to a very narrow per-determined role. For women who can not have or who do not want children, these women are once again outside of their families and culture. These women are marginalized and minimized.
This is the place for "us versus them." Because I do not choose the Mormon way of life, because I do not endorce using less resources (ironic - because larger families use more) in justification of have children, I am "them" to my family. This is a destructive, anti-family teaching.
This is the place where people who don't know, know. Mormons know the church is true, that there is no thing as global warming - or if there is God will return before Utah (http://www.sltrib.com/ci_7133901 ) destroys Utah and contributes more than any other group to the destruction of the environment. Mormons are encouraged to not read anything not Mormon(lest they leave the gospel), are taught that anyone not Mormon is not quite as smart as say someone like GBH or even their Bishop - regardless of education or training or experience, to not listen to anyone who is not Mormon and then to proclaim - "I know." I know what good mothers should know - I know what people should not drink - coffee and wine! - I know that people should marry young and quickly and facts, figures, and evidence have no influence on me. I know!
This is the place where someone else has the right to tell you how to live, when to marry, what your true orientation is (if you have a penis - you prefer women for sexual partners - period!), what church position you will "volunteer" for, if you should have a career (do you have a vagina - you should not have a career!), how you should feel, what you should think, what you should know, and every minute, mundane detail of your life - someone else should tell you how, when, where, why you should live.
This is the place where the lines are clearly drawn over who is "righteous" and who isn't. The culture of the gospel is one where women are traditional, conventional, obedient to a man, and must do as they are told.
This is the place - and Julie Beck - in one sentence said it all.
We can not help but tell the truth, even when we are lying. Thank you Julie for reminding me what kind of place Utah really is!
Saturday, Nov 3, 2007, at 06:31 AM Julie Beck’s Motherhood Talk Original Author(s): fMhLisa JULIE B. BECK -Guid-
I’m feeling very discouraged just now. Sad, sad, sad. Disappointed. Tired. I wish I had the talk in front of me so I give context to those of you who did not hear it, but that will have to wait until it comes out online (on Thursday?)?
I keep trying to take some comfort from some of her (many) gists that really are important, motherhood is vital, practice less materialism, have fewer distractions, teach our children of substantial and important matters. I keep trying to just appreciate her very fine and strong delivery.
But it’s not working. I should wait until I can read it, probably, to express more precisely all the levels on which I found this talk flawed in focus and disappointing in content. No mention of fathers vital roles, the unacknowledged assumption that all women can be mothers/homemakers, the conflating of homemaking and housecleaning, the guilt, the patronizing “this is influence, this is power” (Motherhood does have power, I’m not saying it doesn’t, but that only half the story the other half being a great deal of real and frightening powerlessness), the total lack of deep gospel mojo.
It must be possible to strongly affirm the importance of families without this kind of mess. Ah yes, it’s happening right now. Thank you Elder Oaks. Fantastic talk. Sigh, I feel somewhat better now.
So, as Mormon women, how do we approach a talk like Beck’s? Is “in one ear and out the other” okay? Would it be inappropriate to respond directly, write her a letter listing in detail the things I find flawed and disappointing in her approach, or is that not sustaining my leaders? Almost worse than my annoyance and dismissal is the (unnecessary) guilt and shame I think my orthodox friends probably took right to heart.
The thing is, I want to sustain Beck, I don’t want to bash her, but there is no way that I can believe that “keeping our homes as tidy as the temple” or “being the best homemakers in the world” are the vital lessons that will bring myself and my family closer to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Shesh.
Monday, Sep 13, 2010, at 02:00 PM Julie B. Beck Is My Arch Nemesis Original Author(s): Anonymous JULIE B. BECK -Guid-
As a closet apostate I sat through both Women Who Know and Stand Strong and Immovable. Beck said things that the brethren don't dare tell women anymore. I felt like she set us all back a few decades. As an apostate I could laugh about it but if I'd heard her a few months earlier as a TBM I would have been overwhelmed and demoralized by her chirpy laundry list of shoulds that included not delaying or limiting family size for "selfish" reasons. If a woman doesn't want to have a baby she isn't selfish and she shouldn't do it.
Beck is a tool and a traitor to her own gender by advancing the agenda of a patriarchy that is disturbingly interested in the use of my uterus.